I waited a very long time to meet my soul mate. If someone would have told me that I would have found him on Tinder, I would have said they were crazy. It just so happens, that this is exactly where we met.
The past couple years have not been easy. I left the city my kids grew up in about a year ago, to get away from the constant reminder of loss, the house fire, and have a chance for a fresh start somewhere new. We didn’t move far, but far enough to feel like we had some change. It was lonely here. It wasn’t easy being in a place where we didn’t know anyone.
I was on leave from work at the time we moved. My daughter was dealing with some pretty serious medical issues and I too, was reeling with the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My ex of 3.5 years had left in October 2016 and moved 4 hours away with barely a goodbye. My anxiety was at an all time high. For the first time in 20 years, I was barely scraping by. I had no income and was living off my savings. I had been isolating myself and not talking to anyone but my children, and the friendly faces at the Starbucks drive thru each morning.
I had an old Plenty of Fish account that I had set up after my Husband and I seperated in 2013. One night just after in January of 2017, I had signed up out of sheer curiosity and started to peruse the local fish 🐟 swimming within a 20 km radius. I updated my pictures as I had lost 100lbs since my last log in. Within a few minutes, I started receiving messages asking if I wanted to “Get Together“. There was barely a quick “Hello” before getting the question all women wait their whole life for- “Can I send you a DICK PIC?”
A Dick Pic??? This is what I have to look forward to? No more taking the time to get to know someone? Just random horny assholes wanting to share pictures of their junk online? Now I don’t know about you other ladies out there, but this is not the way to get a woman into your bed. In fact, it had me running in the opposite direction, wondering if I should start looking at joining a convent or switching teams and dating women. Ok that’s a little drastic, but it did leave me having no faith that I would be finding “Mr.Right” anytime soon.
I would think to myself that there had to be someone else out there like me. Someone who was genuinely wanting to meet someone else and form a real bond. It couldn’t be that this whole sea was filled with men just wanting to “Hook Up” and just share photos, with the hope that I might return the favour. After a bit of sifting, I did meet a couple guys who seemed to have their shit together. My list of requirements was sadly small.
- No DICK PICS
- Must be able to carry a conversation
- Must not live at home with their Mother
- Not own a van with tinted or no rear windows (I am serious about this one)
- Must be employed
- Not married
- Nice teeth and smile would be a bonus
I wasnt looking for a husband, rather someone I could spend some time with, go on a date once in a while, and get out of the house. Someone who could challenge my views and distract me from all I had going on. I went on one date, and I will spare you the uneventful details. He had about as much charm as a rock and this solidified the fact for me, that I would not be dating again for a long time.
I would watch YouTube at night to pass the time. I stumbled across so many videos of people saying they were on Tinder. My understanding was that Tinder was the “Go-To” site for quick hook ups and nothing more. It had never occurred to me that this might be a site that I would use to find my match. Let me tell you though that loneliness will take you to places you never thought you would go and my curiosity got the best of me.
It was a Friday night and both of my kids were out for the night. I downloaded the app and started the looking through my pictures to find the perfect Snapchat filter photo that hid my extra chin or that frown line in the middle of my forehead. I chose my weapon and went in with absolutely zero expectations. Tinder was so different then Plenty of Fish. On Tinder you literally just view someone’s picture and swipe left to decline, and swipe right if they don’t look like a serial killer. If they also swipe right you have a “Match”. Once you have a match you can make contact and see where it takes you.
Tinder was definitely more exciting. Almost every right I swiped, most came back with a match. It was a bit of an ego boost and it was nice seeing some fresh faces. Most of the men on Plenty of Fish were still there from when I first added my profile almost ten years ago. I guess those dick pics don’t work after all guys lol. I think I forgot to mention earlier, that I also found a few of my exes on Plenty of Fish. I messaged a couple of them and had a good laugh at our own expense that we ending up on dating sites, and took a brief stroll down memory lane. I am still friends with every person I have ever dated to this day.
One picture really caught my attention. This guy was smiling in his picture, a genuine smile. He stood out from the rest. He had the bluest eyes, a kind face, and a name I couldn’t pronounce. Of course I swiped right, and a few hours later I got a notification that we were a “Match”.
I had to look cool and collected, so I didn’t message him right away. I figured I would wait a couple days and then make my move. Sunday morning I woke up and low and behold, in my inbox was a message waiting from this mysterious stranger. His message started out by asking me “What is a beautiful girl like you doing here on Tinder?”. Well, I am a writer and my response was not brief. I figured if I was going to meet someone, they would have to know that I am not here for just a hook up, and I would challenge him to a conversation and see if he would take the bait. I responded by telling him that I was here to genuinely make a connection and that my experience on dating apps thus far had been a complete failure. I had attempted in the past to engage in conversation with men who had messaged me, but rarely did anyone respond with more than just a few short words about their day or jump right in to a conversation about sex.
Wojtek (pronounced Voytek) responded back with a lengthy message telling me stories of his unsuccessful attempts at online dating. Not too long into our chat he broke the ice further by sending me a high school picture that his sister had sent with his hair full of gel and spikes. I loved that he could laugh at himself and had a sense of humor. He asked me questions about myself and showed real interest. I made the most delicious breakfast while we continued to send message after message to each other. I thought I would entice him even more, by sending pictures of my Martha Stewart-esque pancakes topped with fresh fruit and a cream cheese icing glaze.
We wrote back and forth that first day/night for almost 10 hrs. We talked about relationships, music, life experiences, family, and I knew that this guy was the real deal. The conversation ended with him asking me to go on a date with him on Friday. I, without a moments hesitation, said “YES!!”.
Over the next week we texted every night. It was a hectic week for me as I was preparing to return back to work that following Tuesday after the long weekend. What I noticed most about this man was his work ethic. He was 32 years old and told me right from the beginning, that he goes to bed early on weeknights and that he would only be able to text during the day at lunch and on his breaks. Now something I haven’t disclosed in my blogs until now is my age. I am 42. Now if you are a math wiz like me you can do the calculation and know that we have 10 years between us. I was definitely intimidated by this fact, but he continually put my mind at ease.
The week went slowly in anticipation of our first date. We would text mostly at night once we were both tucked into bed and never once did we lack in something to talk about. There were no awkward moments, lots of laughter, and lot of very honest dialogue. I felt like I could tell him anything. He truly was one of the sweetest people I had every spoken with and I couldn’t wait to meet him in person.
I have to take a brief moment from telling you this story, to let you know that as I write this post, he is out buying me some medicine and Ginger Ale for my sore stomach. We drove into Vancouver for some Mexican Food last night and I have had burrito regret ever since. He also is replacing my burned out signal light on my Jeep and taking my son for a driving lesson. He is always looking out for me. He is a mechanic by trade, and always makes sure that my vehicle is safe and maintained. I have never been taken care of like this before now. I have always taken pride in the fact that I am an independent woman and can do things by myself. It’s more of a safety feature that I have always had inside of me. It wasn’t until I met Wojtek that I finally felt that it was ok to let someone else in and truly be a partner. He would take care of me, and I would take care of him. Our needs are different, but the love is the same. He always calls me his “Better Half”, but I think we both compliment each other so well.
Now back to our first date 😍. Friday morning had arrived and I was so nervous all day. We had talked about going to dinner and maybe going to one of those new “Escape Rooms” where you have to solve clues and puzzles to escape a themed room before your one hour expires. I was running around the house trying to find the perfect outfit, but nothing fit right or just didn’t make me feel as confident as I had hoped it would. When he got home from work at around 5pm, we checked in, and talked about where we would like to meet. I asked him if maybe we could meet at a pub instead of a fancy restaurant so that there would be a little less pressure on us both. He agreed and I started my 40 minute journey towards his town.
I told him that once I got to town I would figure out a place to meet and text him the name. My nervousnous was getting worse and when I finally got there I saw the Casino. I figured this would be a great place to go as it was within walking distance for him, it had a bar, a nice restaurant, and a hotel if I drank too much and needed somewhere to stay for the night.
I went inside and found a slot machine and put in twenty dollars. The waitress came by and I ordered a double rye and coke (which did help a little) and then texted him that I was here and ready to meet. OMG, I am telling you I started to panic. I immediately felt all of my insecurities come rushing into my head. Was he going to think I was overweight? Would he be dissapointed? Would I look like my pictures? Then my thoughts went to- Would I like him? Would we have anything to talk about? Would he look like his pictures? My heart was racing and I felt like I might just faint. I started to chat with the woman beside me and let her know that I was about to meet this guy for the first time. The woman smiled and told me that I looked beautiful and to just be myself. Simple advice, but at the time I needed to hear it. Moments later he texted to let me know he had arrived and was in the lobby. I cashed out my machine, adjusted myself, and started to make my way over to where he was waiting.
The lobby entrance was maybe 50ft away, but it felt like miles. I didn’t want to be looking all over for him like a lost puppy, so I just walked forward and hoped I would recognize him from his pictures. He saw me first. I felt someone come to the side of me and when we looked at each other for the first time in person, I instantly knew that I was going to fall head over heels in love. His eyes were even bluer in person and his smile made my knees weak. I felt at ease instantly and was so relieved that he was the same guy from the pictures I had been staring at for the past week. He was so handsome, tall, and just as sweet as I had hoped.
We went and sat up at the bar in the middle of the casino and both ordered a drink. I am not much of a drinker anymore, but figured a little “liquid courage” wouldn’t hurt. I remember that we both just looked so relieved that we were attracted to one another in real life. That all of those hours of texting were not a waste of time and this was maybe the start of something amazing.
We had a couple drinks up at the bar and as we talked his hand would tap my knee or brush against my hand as he spoke. I felt like I was 16 years old and sitting across from my High School crush. We made our way over to the restaurant which ironically enough was called “Match”. This had to be a good sign right??? We ordered nachos to share and I think we each had 3 or 4 bites. We just kept talking and smiling. The waitress came over at one point and asked me if we were on a date. She said, “You two look you are having a conversation with no one else in the room”. The restaurant was packed and all we could see was each other. Over the next hour she would walk by and smile at us and give me an approving nod. It was amazing that she could see what we both were feeling.
A few hours had now passed and we went outside for some air. He leaned against the building and pulled me in for what will forever be remembered as the best kiss of my life. There was no way that either of us were going to be able to say goodbye. We both knew we had found our soul mate and we decided to head to my place.
We stayed up all night talking, cuddling, and finally fell asleep when the sun started to peek through the blinds. We spent all day Saturday in bed, watching movies, and talking about how grateful each of us were to have found one another. Not at any moment, did I feel I was being fed a line or have any doubt of what this man was telling me. He looked at me in a way that no man ever has, and I know that no man ever will again.
I am going to leave the story here for now and will continue to post about how this man and our story has forever changed my life.
Stay tuned for more Tinder Lovin ❤️